Birthday Boners

T'was the 10th of November,
and in my minds eye.
Sexy creatures were stirring,
making my penis cry.




Oh, Christina Hendricks,
I really wish you would grab it.
At times I think you're related,
to Jessica Rabbit.




I'd bone Rashida Jones,
even if she had Scabies.
We'd be the talk of the town,
with our weird-ass race babies.




Oh look! Rachel Stevens,
how'd you get in my head?
Wanna help me with something?
Here's a hint: "...'til I'm dead"

Thus ends my post,
I'm so glad that you stayed.
Happy Birthday to me,
tonight I hope I get pizza.


(PS: I have no idea how the S Club 7 girl got here)

shut up you beautiful bitch

Are fictional characters allowed? Because I don’t think I wanna bone Danny McBride as much as I wanna be made uncomfortable by a nude Kenny fucking Powers. I think it’s the wrap around sunglasses and baseball arms that really get me. Not so much the gelled curly hair, sensitive actor, friend of Will Ferrell steeze. Also his facial hair choices transcend Kenny Powers and make me think he looks like that on the daily and not just as a joke.
I was recently the victim of a drunken sexual advancement by Kenny Powers on a Halloween dance floor and it made me realize something. If this dude really existed, I’d totally bone him. But when someone ‘pretends’ to be Kenny Powers to the point of coming off as an actual ‘misogynist’ its not so much ‘sexy’ or ‘funny’ as it is ‘RAPEY.’ Note to dudes, don’t take yr costumes that far. No one wants to be drunk in Halloween jail. Especially not dudes dressed up as homoerotic southern racists.