This. Feels. Illegal.
This kid is 17. SEVENTEEN PEOPLE. Have you even seen the trailers for New Moon (you haven’t), but he is shirtless like 200% of the movie. I know that there are plot reasons for him to be shirtless and warm and pulsating all the time (Spoilerz, he’s a werewolf. Gah Stephenie Meyer you never stop), but my old lady heart can’t take this! I’m sweating under my Spanx here boy! When I was 17 my boyfriend already had a beer belly and a kid. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY FEEDING THIS KID? Like Twilight isn’t already making me feel prepubescent and now they gotta put these pictures on the internet?? Guh, if I didn’t already have my menses this woulda ushered it out. AWWOOOGA. Come over here and give nana a kiss. Taylor Lautner’s biceps have solidified my estatus de futuro as creepy old lady. Now excuse me while I go slather my knees in cold cream and listen to my blogs.
i wanna eat ceviche off his naked body
