What's The Square Root Of Horny?

Last week on Yahoo I noticed that Danica McKellar was one of the internet's most searched for celebrities.

"Did she die?" was my initial response, so I decided to Google her and discovered a few things about her:

1) She was recently married to ??? (who cares)

2) She's some sort of math genius

3) She's fucking hot now!

So late in the game, this guy. Tonight's wank fantasy will consist of me raising my head from between her thighs every 5 minutes to apologize for my gross neglect, I owe the Super Cooper that much. Here's where I throw in a pun about fur pi.

South of the Boner

Remember Dirty Dancing Havana Nights? My vagina does.  If only he could’ve taught me how to dance on the beach of a pre-Castro Cuba. Instead I had to learn from a buncha drunk lez’s in the back room of a club that used to be a grocery store. Thanks a lot Florida. Now I’d like to thank Mexico. For giving me this beautiful slampiece to picture whenever I’m tryna rub one out and the newscaster starts talking about socialism.