Reality Bones

Ok. I feel like I always gotta start these off with some sort of disclaimer. Like Yo, I’m not really into dudes like this, and given the opportunity I probably wouldn’t go home with him, and frankly I couldn’t even imagine a scenario in which we’d be in the same room or whatever. But honestly, I don’t even care anymore. I have such a fucking crush on Big Rig aka Jeremiah Riggs from ‘Daisy of Love’ I don’t even know what to do with myself. He’s like the exact opposite of every dude I’ve ever boned in my entire life. He’s got muscles on purpose, a southern accent that doesn’t annoy me, he doesn’t wanna talk about the new Grizzly Bear album and has definitely never been to Union Pool. He does have pretty awful tattoos though, which I’m used to. They look like he’s lost a lot of bets in life. I’m so fucking into it.
I want him to 'win' the show, since I’m on his side 4 lyfe. Then again, I also want him to lose because I wouldn’t wish a contractual relationship with Daisy de la Herpe on even my worst enemy. Buy me a 12 pack of Busch and put me in a sleeper hold til I can wriggle outta these skinny jeans you fucking beast.