Barbonerz

Aight.
I have a feeling that this boner stems from the most glorious equation in man-made boozy existence:
inebriated me + bearded babes + said babes serving me delicious alcohol + dimmed lighting x desperation squared = yours truly, balancing precariously on a bar stool, screaming 'ANAL' everytime he walks by, chewing on a straw, doing my best daisy of love impersonation, and basically failing at life and making my mom burst into psychic tears 2000 miles away all over some bro whos only being nice to me cuz I'M GIVING HIM MONEY!

FYI: Bragging about yr graduate degree does not a successful bartender pick-up make.