I had NO idea I thought this dude was even remotely good looking. Anyone on MTV’s payroll, who wants to be taken seriously as a journalist, and wears those glasses is usually on the express to the dead last slot on my boner schedule. I think about you less than I think about cargo-short outfitted college seniors pursuing a career in marketing.
But here I was, kinda drunk in the LES with some lady friends wondering why this fine ass man kept making eye contact with me (he must’ve thought I was a fan of his journalistic work on sexual health among teens). He was a BABE, I was drunk, it’s the lower east side, what of it?! Maybe I was so into him cuz he wasn’t trying to make me care about Kosovo or whatever. So he goes to leave the bar and me being the creepy sexual assault type, decide to bump into him (read: tackle) and in my best drunk girl voice mutter “ey where you going…” Best pick up line evaaarrr.
One thing leads to another and I realize that I’m basically pinning Gideon Yago to a pool table in front of about 75 people. In my defense he had a beard and was heavier than the last time I saw him using serious face whilst discussing Iraq with Condoleezza Rice. Needless to say he barely escaped with his pants. It was all downhill once my eyes focused and I realized who he was (I am leaving out countless embarrassing details, seriously I had NO IDEA it was him). Sometimes our boners deceive us, think before you act.
HAHAHAHAHA
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